The Anguttara Nikaya is my favorite of the 5 Nikayas. I made lots of bookmarks and notes, and had to split them into several parts.

(Note: This is part 1. Part 2 is here.)

Humorous:

AN 2.60-61

“Fauns see two reasons not to use human speech. What two? Thinking: ‘May we not lie, and may we not misrepresent others with falsehoods.’ Fauns see two reasons not to use human speech.”

“Mendicants, females die without getting enough of two things. What two? Sexual intercourse and giving birth. Females die without getting enough of these two things.”

AN 3.65 - Sarabha

…those wanderers gave the wanderer Sarabha a thorough verbal lashing, saying: “Just as an old jackal in a huge forest might think: ‘I will roar a lion’s roar,’ and yet would only howl and yelp like a jackal, so, friend Sarabha, claiming in the absence of the ascetic Gotama: ‘I will roar a lion’s roar,’ you only howled and yelped like a jackal. Just as, friend Sarabha, a chick might think: ‘I will sing like a cock,’ and yet would only sing like a chick, so, friend Sarabha, claiming in the absence of the ascetic Gotama: ‘I will sing like a cock,’ you only sang like a chick. Just as, friend Sarabha, a bull might think to bellow deeply in an empty cow shed, so, friend Sarabha, in the absence of the ascetic Gotama you thought you could bellow deeply.” In this way those wanderers gave the wanderer Sarabha a thorough verbal lashing.

AN 5.137 - Little Sleep

“Mendicants, these five sleep little at night, staying mostly awake. What five? A woman longing for a man. A man longing for a woman. A thief longing for their loot. A king busy with his duties. A mendicant longing for freedom from attachment. These five sleep little at night, staying mostly awake.”

AN 5.139 - Cannot Patiently Endure

(Cannot Patiently Endure the “tom toms”. The Bhikkhu Bodhi translation is best here.)

AN 8.27 - Powers (1)

“Bhikkhus, there are these eight powers. What eight?

  1. The power of children is weeping;

  2. the power of women is anger;

  3. the power of thieves is a weapon;

  4. the power of kings is sovereignty;

  5. the power of fools is to complain;

  6. the power of the wise is to deliberate;

  7. the power of the learned is reflection;

  8. the power of ascetics and brahmins is patience.

These are the eight powers.”

Next: part 2 is here.